Ms. Ja is in the building!

At this time, allow me to introduce you all to the one and only, one of a kind Ms. Ja.  She is a person whose presence speaks for itself.  She brings the light and the life to the room.  Her smile will blind you but her personality will give you no other option except to smile.  She is the kind of person that you want to have in your corner but not to have you cornered.  Ms. Ja will let you know where the lines are and when they have been crossed.

Now Ms. Ja, she is confident and secure in who she is, where she’s going and never shows weakness.  It’s not that she has never experienced a weakness, it’s just that she will take the lessons that life sends her way and truly learn from them.  In my brief time knowing Ms. Ja, I’ve only seen her exhibit one sign of weakness and that was when her mother died.  But even then, she knew how to give praises to her God for what he allowed her to get through.  That is proof of a strong person.

So you’re probably asking why is Ms. Ja in this room if she has it all together?  Well, she is who I look up to, women can learn a lot from her, they can learn how to not depend on a man to make you relevant because she’s knows that she is relevant before a man even approaches her.  I’ve learned from her how to work with people who you may not necessarily like but you have to learn to tolerate.  In a sense, she is who I desire to be.  She has personally shown me how to accept myself for who I am and to learn to love and realize the gifts that I have been bestowed with.  She is bold and brave living in a city that she moved to a few years ago and it is her and her son making it on their own.  She’s raising her son to be a man who mother’s will be fighting each other for to bring home to their daughter’s.  And the one thing that I adore and love more about her than anything is that love that she has for her son.  She is truly selfless when it comes to him, she will do without to make sure that he has whatever he needs.  When you look at the two of them together, there is no question what a mother’s love looks like.  Welcome to the room Ms. Ja!

 

I like to introduce myself

First let me introduce myself, I’m Nicole, a mother, a friend, a lover not a fighter.  I’m kind of sounding like a song a little bit but you get the general idea.

As promised, I’m introducing the women in the room one by one and it’s only fitting that I introduce myself first.  Struggles are my constant companion.  They sleep with me at night, dance with me in my dreams, ride with me to work in the morning, hang around aimlessly in the corner during the day.  Struggle tries to steal my joy and from time to time, it succeeds and I have to step in and show struggle that whenever it knocks me down, I get back up ten times stronger.

My struggle at this moment is my weight and low self-esteem.  Most people will think that I’ve got it all together but I’m really just an optical illusion.  I flash the smile, talk the talk and walk the walk when people are looking but the minute that door closes and the curtains are pulled, I become a big ol’ mess.  I look into the mirror and I see the woman there smiling and I think wow, she’s beautiful but then, I look and realize that maybe if I turned my head a few inches to the left and sucked in my stomach I’d definitely look better.  Yeah, I could lose a few pounds without a doubt.  I have a closet full of killer clothes and I wear them but it’s really like the clothes are wearing me.

People will tell me how pretty I am and I smile and politely say thank you but in the back of my mind, I’m just tearing myself apart.   What is it about me that I really don’t like?  I’ve tried what one of the many books that I’ve read in my life suggested and stared at myself in the mirror until I believed that I was beautiful.  I did you know, I believed I was beautiful at one time.  Then I met him, the man who was supposed to make my life better, be my knight in shining armour.  He made me feel beautiful until to him I wasn’t beautiful anymore and then I wasn’t beautiful to me anymore either.  Self-esteem, really?  Funny how it’s called self-esteem but someone can take it from you.  Well, I let him take it from me and that was the beginning of one of my struggles.  So I battle with myself everyday about my looks and my weight until I just decided I’m not going to battle this anymore.  I’m going to do something about it.  I picked myself up and started telling myself I was beautiful, instead of shying away from people’s compliments, I accepted them and smiled happily.  Thanks to the women in this room with me, I’ve been working out and feeling good.  I feel alive and vibrant and oh, might I add sexy!

What I’ve learned from this experience is that we are truly responsible for our own happiness, we’re responsible for our own joy.  We truly are sad when we allow others to control our thoughts and feelings.

So there it is, my struggle, at least for today!

The beginning

In the beginning, there was one woman sitting in a room all alone.  She got tired of hanging out by herself and realized that maybe, she needed to get social and invite her friends into her room with her.  In this room are five beautiful women that come from many different walks of life but they all have stepped upon the same path that we all have trod at least once.  That path is struggle.  Some of us struggle with finances, some with relationship problems and others with weight and self esteem struggles.  Whatever the struggle is that you’re facing, please join us in this room as we discuss our struggles and seek ways of hatching out the details and learning to deal with whatever life may throw our way.

This is just a brief look into this room but the ladies will be introduced one by one in my next post.  The purpose of this blog is to show women that may feel like they are alone in a room that they are not.  While there may not be someone physically with you in your room or as you’re going through problems, you can best believe that someone can relate to what you’re going through.

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